Once again, I have landed on my feet.

A week has passed since my Irish adventure has closed and now that I have caught up on much needed sleep and am feeling back to normal again, I can write about it.

I've had such an adventure these past seven and a bit months in Ireland and I am just devastated that they have come to a close. It has been such a challenging yet joyous experience to be an aupair and I just feel incredibly heart broken that it is all over and I have had to say goodbye to the lovely family I was working for.  
At the beginning I found being an aupair challenging. Not because I had naughty children, a language barrier or difficult host parents but because I myself had to change, I had to adapt to another lifestyle and find a new awareness. Being the youngest in my family and never really having had much experience with children I've never really had the pressure of being responsible for someone else nor too thoughtful in the way in which I conduct myself. So, you can imagine pressure I felt when I realized I was responsible for three young souls and not just responsible for entertaining them, but for feeding them and teaching them. For nourishing their curiosity and for keeping them safe. Suddenly when the activity or game said 'Adult supervision required', I was the adult and it was me who was responsible. However, as time progresses everything gets easier, everything gets routine and as I built a relationship with the children and learnt their lifestyle, I felt calm and in control. As the children grew, I grew too. It was a job where I learnt something everyday. One day it would be to remember to squash my competitiveness when it came to games because children like to win. One day it would be to approach with caution in the morning because you never knew what you were going to get or one day it would be that simply, finger food would be the easiest way to get to the 2 year old to eat the healthier food. I learnt to pick my battles and that even though it looks horrible to put your child on a leash, there is a reason someone thought to invent it because those things are magical!
The girls I minded are pure gems and I enjoyed so much being a part of their lives. They were my daily joy and I'm so thankful to them for the happiness, patience and open arms. It must be hard for them to have different people come into their lives and be such a part of it, only to leave again. I can only hope in the future that this experience with aupairs from different cultures enriches them.
I'll be forever grateful for my wonderful host parents, you hear horror stories but this was not and I don't have a bad thing to say about them. I was truly lucky and my aupairing experience has been 100% positive.

I will miss my wee village in county Meath and I will miss beautiful Ireland and all the joy that it has brought to me.

The train to Greystones.

My heart is a little bit broken tonight. I just had the loveliest final weekend away with my beautiful Cousins. I had a great time with them despite the fact that Ireland decided to make this weekend the perfect weekend to introduce me to to typical Irish weather.... Rain... and more rain, so I did not see much of Sligo. However, to be honest with you, it was time spent with my cousins that I wanted more and that's what I got.  So today, being Monday, I finally had to say good bye and I just feel terrible. As I stood at the train station waiting for my connecting train, I just wanted to hop on the train on the other platform that was Greystones bound. I know that this wasn't my last journey to see them, but it is for now. It's my last journey as I am this person now, right in this time and I know that there will be no journey to see them next weekend or the following. The next time I visit them (or they visit me), Noah will have a voice and Eve will be able to count to a hundred and know a thousand new words. It's exciting to think of what I will be like then. Who more will I be and who more will they be. It just breaks my heart that in the mean time, I don't get to see them grow like I have the past seven months.

It has been the most wonderful thing getting to know my family. My Dad has never had that luxury as great as me. My Grandfather is English and moved to Australia to live, so my Dad has parts of his family all over the world- Cathy is my Dad's cousin., However because all my Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all live in Australia, I don't know what it's like to NOT know my family-my life has always felt full on the family front. But coming here, coming to the other side of the world to meet more, to get to know more family filled a little a hole in me that I never knew was there until I found it being filled. Before I was just connected to these people through blood, through family ties but now we are connected by something much more stronger than that and that's friendship, that's love.
I am so so appreciative and grateful for my time with them, I have am so thankful for them letting me into their home every other weekend, for including me in their lives, for spoiling me and for helping me out. I never thought when I decided that Ireland would be my new place of residence that my Cousins would become a staple part of my life. Seeing them every other weekend, always felt familiar, always felt comforting, it always felt like coming home and I'm just so devastated to leave them. Time will fly and I know I will find myself back again, but all the while I will just miss them all so so much.

Cathy, Noah and I - crappy quality... the one weekend I forget my camera! and missing Ciaran!

Miss Eve and I- this little girl is so bright and such a cheeky miss. 

Mr Noah- the cutest boy, I will miss our snuggles

Home.

Home is not where you live but where you are understood- Christian Morgenstern

The days are getting shorter now and the good bye hugs and thank you's are starting to become a fixture of my life of late. It's nearly time to go home and it makes me realize that wherever I go I will always be home. I have shown myself that life can be lived from any corner of the globe and that my home is everywhere. It's in the cobbled streets of Edinburgh city, it's on the tube in London. Home is is the Danish word 'hygge' and in the hearts of three little girls living in county Meath. 
It breaks my heart to know this life here is all ending. I believe my life will forever be spent missing people. Missing the fact that I'm no longer a part of their daily routine, that I'm no longer in their company and even though when I give someone their last hug good bye I wonder 'am I ever going to see this person again?' I do find comfort in the fact that life happens and sometimes paths do cross, time collides and some moments of our lives continue to connect to others moments. I saw this in June when I ran into my crazy Mexican friend who when I hugged good bye three years ago at a little bus stop in DK, I thought I'd never see her again. And I did, we just happened to be in the right place at the right time. 
As an exchange student the motto we told ourselves to get us through was ' it's not good bye, only I'll see you soon' and as my heart was made to wander I honestly believe this is the case. I will forever be going home and I will forever be looking for a new home.